


Once Upon a Time, Not So Long Ago

by sullacat



Series: Little Hero (the bb Spock series) [7]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/186029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullacat/pseuds/sullacat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's little boy is sad. This won't do. (7/8 in series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon a Time, Not So Long Ago

**Author's Note:**

> for my [Schmoop Bingo card. ](http://sullacat.livejournal.com/92694.html)
> 
> no infringement intended, no profit made

_[+33 months since transformation, +9 months since 'Journey With Me'; Spock ~=11 years old]_

 

"Sickbay to the bridge. Is the captain there?"

The voice was familiar, but it was female, so Jim knew it was business and not pleasure. Jim depressed the comm button on his captain's chair. "This is Kirk. Anything wrong?"

"Doctor McCoy wants you down here as soon as you can, Captain."

That got his attention. "On my way," he replied, handing the con to Sulu and heading out the door.

 

The first thing he noticed upon entering Sickbay was two teams of personnel, each working on a patient. When Christine looked up and noticed Jim standing there, searching for Bones, she pointed at the other biobed. But what he found was the last thing he expected: Spock laying on the table, restraints on his arms and legs, flailing wildly. "What - what are you doing to him?" Jim yelled, angry that it wasn't Bones working on him, but Geoff M'Benga.

"He attacked Lt. Engmann in the gym," M'Benga said tightly, trying to get a sedative into Spock's arm. "Captain, a little help here? Can you talk to him, see if he'll calm down for you?"

"Spock," Jim said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice as he moved toward the head of the biobed. "Spock, look at me!" he said louder, heart racing as the boy's eyes tracked his face, almost manic looking. "Stop, let the doctor help you!" He looked over at Geoff. "Where's McCoy?" he asked, angrily, one hand resting on Spock's head, trying to calm him down.

"Over there," he pointed at the other table on the far end of the room. "He's working on Engmann. Got hurt." Jim knew it probably was a calculated decision, that it would be a terrible idea for Bones to be the one restraining their son. But fuck, it didn't feel right, him not being here and working on Spock.

All of a sudden he felt Spock's fight leave him, and the Vulcan boy went limp on the table. "Will someone please tell me what the fuck happened here?" Jim asked, his voice tight.

Geoff took a deep breath and let it go, slowly. "Kiko, can you get a dermal regen unit working on this here?" he asked, pointing at a small burn on Spock's back. Looking up into Jim's eyes, he walked off away from the bed, indicating Jim should follow him. Only then did Jim notice Chekov in the corner of the room, watching everything with a horrified look on his face. "Chekov here can explain better than I can."

"Captain, I- I was in the gym, running around the track when I saw young Mr Spock here talking to Konrad - I mean, Lieutenant Engmann." Chekov's eyes darted between Jim's and the biobed where Spock now rested, still being treated, but with less furor than before. "I went to ask the lieutenant a question and he-" Chekov's eyes looked over at Spock- "he jumped on Konrad, began hitting him as hard as he could. His fingers, they were on back of his neck and Engmann went down. I'm sorry, sir," Chekov's voice went soft. "I had to stun him to get him off Konrad."

Head spinning, Jim tried to process everything at once. Chekov had stunned his son who was attacking another crew member. "How bad is Engmann?" he wondered aloud, his stomach rolling inside him. Despite his young age, Spock was very strong, and could probably hold his own against an adult male.

But attacking someone? That was unheard of...

"He's gonna be okay." Jim heard Bones' voice from behind him, looking about fifty years older than he had this morning. "Engmann, he's stable, broken arm that's all mended now, needs a few more minutes with the osteo-regen units. How's Spock?" he asked, looking at the rest of the men, his face full of worry.

"He's been exposed to trellium," Geoff said matter of factly. "Acts as a neurotoxin to Vulcans. Affects their ability to keep their emotions in check, makes them extremely volatile."

"He can't control his feelings right now?" Jim asked, clarifying what M'Benga was saying.

"Not a bit. He's totally unable to access that part of his brain that's been taught to repress emotions." Geoff looked more worried that Jim had ever seen him. "Worse, it will kill him if he gets too much in his system. You need to find it, or we're going to have to get him off the ship and somewhere safe."

"Trellium," Jim repeated. Where would Spock have come in contact with- then Jim suddenly stopped, pulling out his communicator. "Kirk to the bridge - Sulu, have we finished surveying the asteroid field?"

"Negative, Captain, we're about eighty percent done. Its much denser than anticipated, and its taking longer to study."

Fuck. A cold knot settled in Jim's stomach. "Run a scan for trellium."

A few seconds later. "Yes, Captain, the scan has tested positive for trellium."

Bones' eyes locked with Jim's, both men looking tired and angry. Jim spoke once more into the communicator. "Stop the survey immediately, and get the ship away from the asteroid field. I'll be up in a little bit to explain. Kirk out." Looking at the doctors, he asked, "How long until its out of his system?"

M'Benga shrugged. "The inoculation should take care of what he's been exposed to, but it will be several hours until its completely gone. Until then, he's going to be prone to outbursts, fits, any sort of emotional response he's been holding inside."

Jim's eyes turned back to the bed. _What was Spock holding inside him?_

 

Jim got back up to the bridge and explained what was happening to Sulu and Thelin, the Andoran who was serving as First Officer during Spock's incapacitation. Both officers agreed to keep track of the amount of trellium the ship was exposed to, and would let Jim know as soon as they were completely clear of the asteroids. Once he finished, he headed back to Sickbay, and pulled a chair next to Spock's biobed, watching him lay there unconscious. Bones told him once that Vulcans could heal themselves, their bodies concentrating all their energies on recuperating, and Jim hoped that was why Spock hadn't moved in ten hours, just the shallowest breathing he'd ever seen.

"Captain, can I get you anything?" Jim looked up to see one of the medics on gamma shift poke his head around the corner to see if Jim needed anything.

"I'm okay, thanks." Jim looked up at the ship's chronometer - 0200 - and sighed, leaning back in his chair. Bones was in his office, catching a quick nap on the cot he always kept in there for those times when Jim hurt himself bad enough to need an overnight visit. It was strange thinking how few times that had happened since they'd adopted Spock when all of a sudden Jim saw the thin shoulders move, the blankets shifting slighting in the bed.

"Spock?"

Spock looked very small in that stark white bed, his skin pale and his eyes large and dark.

He also looked scared, more frightened that Jim had even seen. "How do you feel?" Jim asked, leaning forward and grabbing a tricorder. He knew enough about Spock's physiology from the past few years to be able to tell that the readings were closer to normal than they had been all day, and decided to let Bones sleep a little longer.

"Sore," the boy said quietly, looking past Jim.

He'd been stunned, muscle soreness was expected. Everything else looked okay to his semi-trained eye. "Spock, what happened this afternoon?" Jim asked quietly. But Spock kept looking past Jim. "Spock?"

The boy looked up, and Jim was struck by how much his face had changed. The soft angles of his face were gone now, and Spock looked distinctly older. When Spock slept, Jim could see the little boy there, his face relaxed. But right now, with worry on his face, he looked older than his years.

"What do you remember."

Spock answered in a quiet voice. "I was angry." Then all of a sudden his eyes grew even larger and he made a quick inhaling noise, as if recalling what happened. "There was an altercation." Looking up at Jim, he asked, "Is he injured?"

"He's recovered," Jim told him, noting the look of relief on Spock's face. "What happened?"

"I became angry with Konrad- with Lieutenant Engmann. I... wanted to hurt him," Spock admitted, looking ashamed as if he couldn't believe his behavior. It took a few moments before the boy spoke again. "I've never felt like that before."

"You've been exposed to a toxin that keeps you from controlling your emotions. You were quite ill, but now you're better," Jim said, both for Spock's benefit was well as his own. "Did he say something to you to make you angry?"

"We were discussing a project of his, a paper he is writing on Xindi phenotypes." Spock's breath hitched, a sad note in his voice that Jim hadn't heard in many months. "Then Pavel came over, and they started talking, and..." Spock stopped talking, looking away.

"...and what, Spock."

A long pause. "I heard him call me a child."

Jim's fingers laced together. _That's_ what this was about? "You _are_ a child. At least," he sighed, "right now you are."

"I thought-" then the small voice got even smaller. "I thought he was my friend."

"Spock," Jim began, hesitating before he continued, "...you understand what is happening to you, right?"

Spock nodded. "I am growing at an accelerated rate, experiencing one year every ninety-one point three-one-two-five days."

A small smile on Jim's face as he pushed a tendril of hair away from Spock's face. "Approximately." But Spock was still sad, now looking near tears and Jim's heart was breaking inside him. "C'mon," he said to the young Vulcan, settling on the bed next to Spock, pulling him close to his side, like when he was little. "Tell me what's really wrong."

"It is illogical to care about it," Spock maintained, trying hard to keep himself together.

But Jim wasn't having it, not right now. "I'm your dad, Spock. Illogical or not, I want to know what makes you sad."

There was a long wait, almost a full minute before Spock spoke. "I do not have any friends."

Of all the things Spock could have told him, that was the last thing Jim was expecting. "Of course you have friends," he said, releasing the breath he'd been holding. "Everyone likes you."

But Spock shook his head, still looking crest-fallen at his admission. "That is not the same. There are no young people on board with whom I might form a friendship," he answered, "and if there were, they would not like me."

Fuck. "No, there aren't any other kids," Jim sighed, feeling guilty as shit. "But... that would be hard, making friends with other kids, seeing as you won't be a child much longer. But people do like you, Spock. You know that."

"I do not recall having those bonds with others my own age, the first time this happened. I remember the others." Another long pause, as Spock recollected his original childhood. "They did not like me."

"I can't imagine that," Jim told him, rubbing the top of Spock's head. Hearing that infuriated him - who wouldn't like this inquisitive boy?

Spock closed his eyes, settling back into a calmer frame of mind. "I was different, that was enough. My humanity was an affront to my peers."

"You know, its not like that here."

"I recognize that, Father," Spock replied. "But today, when he said that, called me a child - I realized he was not my friend. That I did not have any friends... and I because emotional." Spock said the word like it was a disease. "Logically it should not matter to me, Father, whether or not I have friends. Human friendship is based on emotional bonds, which your history shows fluctuate radically. Friendship is illogical. To want friends is illogical." But clearly, Spock wanted a friend.

"Friendship is difficult to explain, Spock. Even harder to keep."

Spock began playing with the blanket on his bed. "You have friends," he said, a hint of petulance in his voice.

"A few," Jim conceded. It was hard, even harder now as captain, surrounded by people his own age, that should be his peers, but because of events were now his subordinates. "Between you and me," he said in a low voice, as if sharing a secret, "I never had a lot of close friends when I was young. Knew a lot of people, but..." he shrugged. "Its not easy. You have to trust people, and be worthy of their trust." Jim gave Spock a wry smile. "That's where I would always fail."

But Spock seemed to disagree. "There are many people who trust you. It would seem illogical if they did not, given your position on board this ship."

"I'm not the same man I was ten years ago." Is that how long it had been? Ten years, eleven since he'd been challenged by Captain Pike to do better. At the time he'd taken the dare out of a sense of bravado, to prove the old guy in gray wrong. Then he got to the Academy and discovered what it felt like to succeed. To be admired for his merits, not just his swagger.

It almost broke his heart, how sad Spock looked at all of this. "I promise you, Spock. You have friends." Settling back on the bed, Jim pulled Spock closer to him. "Let me tell you the story of two friends. On the surface, they couldn't be more different. Very different guys, they grew up on different sides of the galaxy. They had different upbringings, lived by different rules. One of them was a Vulcan, a good son from a good family. He grew up with two parents who cared deeply about him. His name was... Selok," Jim said, with a little smile. "The other boy, his name was... Sam. He was human, smart enough, but always in trouble. He didn't have a dad and his mother worked very far away, so he felt like no one really cared much about him.

"But deep down, they had more things in common than they realized. Famous fathers, troubled childhoods. Selok and Sam, Vulcan and Terran, they both ended up far away from where their journeys started. They were dreamers, loners, and they both grew up to believe in something bigger than themselves."

Spock was quiet and looking down, which Jim had learned meant he was paying attention. "And they were friends?"

"Not at first. When they first met, they hated each other," Jim explained, a strange sort of nostalgia coming over him. "There was no trust between then, none at all, because all they could see was what made them different. But then something happened." Jim looked over to see Spock listening intently. "These two men, they ended up serving on a starship together. One morning, a black hole suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the middle of space, and an evil man flew out of it."

"He was the worst person any of them had ever met. His name was Death," Jim said quietly, hoping this wasn't too scary for the boy. "His heart, if he ever had one, was dead inside him.The only thing keeping him going was hate."

"It is illogical to hate, Father, even for Death," Spock said quietly.

"Death didn't understand that. All he sought was revenge for a wrong that he felt had been done to him by Selok. So - he exacted the worst revenge possible..." Jim's voice went low here, "against the person he blamed for his own sadness."

"What did Death do?"

"He took away everything that was important to Selok. His family. His culture. His whole world," Jim said, remembering that day, the feeling of experiencing it from Old Spock's perspective. "But the two of them, Selok and Sam, they had a common enemy now, and they discovered that together, working as a team, they were unstoppable."

"What did they do?"

"They hunted Death." Jim paused here a moment, hearing footsteps approaching, smiling as Bones stepped up to Spock and touched his head, his eyes reading the biobed scans. "Together they found his ship, rescued their captain, and sent Death back to the other side of the black hole where he came from. And after that," Jim squeezed Spock a little harder, "they were the best of friends. Vulcan and Terran."

The room became quiet as Jim finished his story, so Bones took advantage of this to do some scans on Spock. "How do you feel?"

"Adequate," Spock answered, and both Jim and Bones smiled at that. "How is Lieutenant Engmann?"

"He's fine, back in his room." Bones said. "You can see him tomorrow, if you'd like. You know, maybe apologize?" he added, leaning against Jim.

Spock nodded. "I regret what happened. I should not have reacted that way."

"No, you should not, but I think you've already been forgiven, from what Konrad told me. He's more worried about you than anyone. He really likes you, you know that." Spock's lips curled a little at that. "Now I'm going to give you a sedative to get you back to sleep for a few more hours-"

"I am not tired-"

"But its three in the morning," Bones told him, "and you need to rest a little longer. All the toxins should be gone by the time you wake up."

"Father?" Spock called out softly, looking up Jim as Bones administered the hypo. "The story you told me - I am not sure I understand the moral behind it."

Jim looked at Bones, and thought for a moment before answering. "Some stories don't have morals, Spock. They're just... stories." He hugged the boy's shoulder before standing up. "Don't worry about it. Time to sleep, like your Dad said."

A yawn let them both know that the medication was taking effect quickly. "I will." Settling back into his bed, Bones tucked in the blanket under the bed and set the lights to low, kissing Spock on the forehead. "We'll be here in the morning."

Jim leaned in to do the same when Spock looked up at him. "That story you told me, about the friends..." Spock paused, biting his lip, a habit Jim was pleased to see he had not outgrown. "Did that really happen?"

Jim paused. Yes, it had happened. All that and more, and one day, Spock would remember, and grow up to be Jim's best friend, his first officer, his right arm. He'd remember the good and the bad, and hopefully have these new memories they made together to strengthen that friendship even more, a friendship that Jim missed desperately everyday since Spock had become a child.

One day. Reaching over, he covered Spock's soft hair with his hand, then tugged his ear like he used to when Spock was little. "Good night, Spock-kam," he said as the dark eyes blinked twice and closed, falling deep asleep.


End file.
